I'm going to be honest with you, trying to make it on your own is tough...really tough. I have great friends, a family that's supportive beyond measure, and a real drive, and I still struggle. I knew trying to do my own thing wasn't going to be easy. I've read enough books, blogs, and articles to know that things don't happen exactly the way you need them to, and never the way you want them to.
It can be really easy to feel like a failure, or even a fraud when you have this plan for your life (or your day) and it doesn't go the way you needed or wanted it to. It can be really easy to question yourself, your abilities, your choices, and really, everything about yourself. That happened to me this week, so I thought I'd share it.
I don't know about you, but I KNOW this is what I'm supposed to be doing. After lots of prayer, opened and closed doors, and in my gut, I know I should be working for myself; but for some reason, it doesn't look exactly the way I need it or want it to. I know what you're thinking (because my readers are kind) you might be thinking "it's still early, you haven't even been at this for a year!" or "but look at how far you've come!" or "at-least you're trying!", and while I really appreciate the sentiment, the fact is that when you have a vision for yourself, when you have ambition and goals that you want to set for yourself, when you're not moving at a specific pace, you can't see anything beyond what you're not doing. For my friends and family who've interacted with me over the last few days, you've seen it. There's no pep in my step. I'm pretty quiet, my hair is pulled back, I'm not wearing any makeup and my wardrobe has been "blah" at best.
Why am I telling you all this? Because I'm an honest person - do I have some great clients? Yep! Do I get to set my own schedule and work when I want? Yep! But it's not all fun and games. This is really tough to do. it's hard to figure out a business, it's hard to prove to yourself and to the world (however big or small your world is) that you're doing the right thing, that it'll all be worth it one day. it's not all sunshine and roses, there are melt down days...and I've been having them and I think that's important to share.
But back to style, because that's why we're all here, right? I decided last night (yep, just last night) that I was going to pull myself out of this rut, and my first order of business? GET DRESSED. Over the last few days, I was letting how I was feeling inside dictate my outside, and as a result, my outer appearance wasn't a motivator to make moves. I felt low, I didn't get dressed which meant I didn't want to get out of the house and be seen, which made me feel worse. Do you see that cycle? I decided today, I was going to get up, get dressed, and get out there! I'm writing this blog from a local Starbucks. For the last few weeks that's where I've been working, but when I started to feel low and not put myself together, I didn't want to get out or be seen, which meant my work was taking a hit.
My point in all of this to share, but also to say putting yourself makes a difference, take it from me! It's a cycle. No matter how you're feeling, don't let the cycle of self-doubt start. It begins with the simple decision in the morning "do I want to be seen?". When I say "do I want to be seen?" I don't mean do I want to be noticed, or stand out, I simply mean seen. We have to be seen for anything in our lives to happen, and if we-- excuse me, if I'm not willing to be seen, then how can I possibly have the success or freedom I crave?
So my challenge to you, and myself this week is to be seen. Whatever is happening, good, bad, or ugly, be seen. Nothing will come, go, or change unless we're seen.